How do you feel?
I TRIED AND FAILED
Tried again and failed again. Just couldn't get it right. While I was writing Living Yes, I couldn’t come up with a workable graphic, so I wrote about emotions without a full visual model. But last month I had a few flashes, and now I think I have something!
THE BREAKTHROUGH RESULT
So, after eight years of struggle, here is my table of emotions! I look forward to hearing how you use it. (There's a download link below my signature.)
Let me explain some more.
A QUICK REVIEW
Two chapters of Living Yes are spent discussing the important difference between thoughts and feelings. To offer one nugget,
“Thoughts put us in verbal self-defense with endless battles inside ourselves. Feelings are simply true.” (Living Yes p. 79)
In my psychotherapy practice, the first question that I ask every client who walks into the room is, “How do you feel?” With new folks, who have limited experience with the language of emotion, I receive a wide range of replies such as:
Fine. Good. Okay. The same. Better than yesterday. I don’t know. Traffic was bad. And then I got caught behind an ambulance. (Of course, none of these responses describe emotive feelings, as I explain in Chapter Five of Living Yes.)
A few weeks later, with practice, their responses focus on actual emotional, affective states, and they reply with choices such as:
Mad Sad Glad Scared Excited Nervous
And after doing some thought records (Chapter Four, Living Yes), people learn not only to present their emotional responses but to scale them from 0 to 100, so they might reply in ways like:
Anxious 50 / Annoyed 30 Excited 20 / Happy 55 / Calm 10 Frustrated 30 / Ashamed 20 / Confused 10
Now I can offer a tool to help identify feelings. But that's not all....
SO WHAT? - A BONUS
Well that’s great, but once you know how to identify these emotions, what do you do with it? (The answers, of course, are explained in Living Yes.)
But as a bonus, I've added some Cool Yes and Hot Yes possibilities for each of the emotional experiences on the back of the handy download of the emotions chart that follows my signature.
Love and Light,
Download the Emotions Chart with the bonus. N.B. This links to the updated (redux) version, which includes "Hate" (as shown above) and the "no" responses on the back (not shown above).
I would like_ Living Yes_ to reach more people. Please share this with those you care for. Here are a few ways to help others learn to Live Yes: